Calming Myself

It’s a struggle whenever I face changes in my life.

I feel a different kind of nervousness and uneasiness.

It’s too hard to not think about what will happen in the next few days.

I try to play a mobile game on my phone but still it doesn’t give me any calmness.

I also tried different skin care on my face to take care of myself and somehow ease my nervous self but it still doesn’t work.

I am too nervous because I will take a new position at work and it brings me into a deep hole of uncomfortable feelings.

I know I need this position to move up in the ranks in the next years to come but I still can’t welcome the changes as I am afraid of alot of things.

I am scared that I won’t perform well and that my improvement will be compared to the person who hold that position previously.

I need to stop comparing myself to my colleagues. I should start encouraging myself more instead.

I am currently writing this blog in the spot where I was most vulnerable years ago.

There’s a lot of things I need to work on in myself and hopefully I could figure myself out too.

I can feel the cold air blowing in my face and it definitely gives a soothing feeling. I thought music can calm me down but I found that sitting in this darkness while writing this blog gives me some comfort that I truly need right now.